April 12, 2009: Wherever I lay my hat.....that's where my hat is.

Easter morning, Northern Ireland. Memories of sunrise services, standing outside in Donaghadee, colder than a witch's tit, then back to the church hall for bacon butties and tomato soup (yeah, tomato soup at 6:30 am. blech.)

We are dragging ourselves into the inevitability of returning to the US after our vacation in Northern Ireland. I've had several well-meaning wishes of "Safe home!" and "Have a safe journey home!", which got me thinking.

Home?

We are travelling to the United States, where I have a house, cars, a cat, a dog, and a job. But home?

Home is supposed to be where your heart is.

My heart is here. I've woken up to realize it.

16 years ago, I set off to answer a question: "Can I do it? Can I make a life for myself for my wife and my kids in the US?"

Yeah, I can. I've scratched that itch, I've checked that box.

Now I have a new question:

Where do I want to BE? I've proved to myself that I can "DO" anywhere, the question on my mind now is where do I want to "BE" while I'm doing?

It's been a question on my mind for a few months, actually. Quite a few months.

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Yesterday was our last full day in Northern Ireland, which meant putting off the packing until the very last minute.

Before we left the States, I had been trying to get in touch with an old schoolfriend of Elaine's who we had lost contact with. I threw the equivalent of an internet "Hail Mary", I sent an email to someone with her name on www.friendsreunited.com, with a request that she get in touch with us.

She did, and Elaine was able to spend the entire afternoon with her schoolfriend, someone who is very dear to her. I was glad she got this chance.

I on the other hand took my kids and two of their cousins to that mecca of holidaymakers Portrush-bound, Barry's amusements.

Amusements is somewhat of an irony, as I didn't find the place amusing at all!

Don't get me wrong, as a youngster I can remember going in through the front doors where a wide array of one armed bandits (slot machines with the pull down lever), push penny machines, dodge-ems (bumper cars) etc awaits, all eager to separate you and your cash. I watched as thousands of pounds got dumped into the flashy gizmos, each providing a moment's "entertainment" before belching out a few paper tokens to thank you for your time. People were running around with wild expressions, a fist full of pink tickets in one hand, a handful of coins in the other, all fixated on amassing more tickets. I reckoned that each game would cost 10p, and would provide on average 4 tickets. You needed to collect something like 3600 tickets for a stuffed spongebob squarepants, which meant 90 pounds would make you the proud owner of a stuffed thingy that costs 5 pounds in a corner shop. The Amusement racket is an extremely lucrative one.

I found a seat in the corner of the cafe in Barry's and waited for my kids to finish their worship at the Barry's alter. This cafe sold an array of ice creams, sodas, and other sweet stickies. It was also situated right beside the most stomach churning ride I have ever seen. This thing turned you literally in every direction. I dare say, if you rode it immediately after visiting the cafe, it could even turn you inside out, which wouldn't be very pleasant for the onlookers below!I had a doze in Barry's, which is a testament a) to how bored I was, and b) how tired I was, and when the kids showed up, it was back to the car to gather Elaine in nearby Portstewart, and then back to Ballycastle to pack.

Driving back, there was a fierce sky up ahead of us which heralded a downpour. We missed the rain, it had passed by the time we caught up to it, but the evidence of it's passing, a rainbow, provided another remarkable sight. This rainbow ended in the sea, just at the end of Fair Head, the landmark jutting into the sea beyond Ballycastle. Elaine remarked that she had never seen anything like that before.

If you ever have the good fortune to go to Ballycastle, Morton's fish and chips on the harbour is worth the stop. Yum!

So, packed, slept, and fed, we are heading out in a few moments to return to our house, our pets and our jobs. Our hearts, and possibly our hats, we leave here in Northern Ireland.